Have you ever seen a sex scene in a movie and wondered if that's what an orgasm is supposed to be like? And then thought maybe you were doing it all wrong?

If so, you are certainly not alone. Media often portrays sex in a way that leaves us feeling bewildered and questioning our own experiences - not just how we look and sound, but whether we are "doing it right" and even whether we are having an orgasm at all!

So let's face it, pop culture doesn't portray orgasms very accurately, often leading us to believe that orgasms involve a lot of screaming and dramatic shaking and that it happens right at the beginning (with no clitoral stimulation!).

While some orgasms can look like this... it's not often! So, if what you see in the movies isn't quite right, how can you know if you've had an orgasm if your experience isn't the same?

What an orgasm feels like can be different and different for everyone. Some women describe it as a release , while others feel more like an ' explosion' . It can bring on feelings of connection and some women get emotional too.

It's ironic that in a culture that often discusses the topic of orgasms, we rarely delve into the details of what happens in the body during an orgasm.

In this blog we'll explore the wonders of an orgasm and explain how to know if you've had one – let's get started!

What exactly is an orgasm?

An orgasm is described as changes in the body caused by intense pleasure that increase heart rate and blood pressure. Orgasms can also cause pelvic muscle spasms, which cause vaginal contractions and urethral contractions in penises. The contraction and relaxation of these muscles lasts for about 10-15 seconds , although some women experience orgasms that last a minute.

The orgasm occurs at the height of your excitement. During sex, the excitement builds up more and more, which also increases the tension in your body and muscles around your genitals. And at the height of your excitement, a release of this tension occurs: that is the orgasm.

Simply put, orgasm is the 'rhythmic and uncontrolled contraction of the muscles of and around the genitals'.

Regardless of gender, orgasm is caused by the same thing for everyone: stimulation . Sometimes it's genital stimulation; other times it can be breast, skin, or even mental stimulation.

One of the most beloved aspects of orgasm is the release of feel-good hormones. After climax, dopamine, oxytocin, and prolactin flood the body, leaving you feeling calm, peaceful, satisfied, and attached to your lover.

While we’re still discovering how the human body experiences pleasure and orgasm, we’ve learned a few things. For starters, according to a 2015 study , only 18% of individuals with vaginas can orgasm through intercourse . Additionally, most people with vaginas require clitoral stimulation , either alone or in conjunction with penetration.

Even those who experience orgasms during penetration have the clitoris to thank. (Most scientists will confirm that all orgasms involve the clitoris, regardless of where the stimulation occurs!)

It’s also worth noting that some people simply can’t orgasm. (And yes, this is completely normal too.) But that doesn’t mean you can’t benefit from sex! Several studies show that climaxing isn’t necessary for a truly happy and fulfilling sex life. Instead, it should be seen as the “icing on the cake.”

There are different types of orgasms

Many people are surprised to learn that orgasms actually happen in our brains, not our genitals. And while our skin is the largest sexual organ, our brains are the most important.

Coming can be different

A climax can feel different every time. Sometimes it feels like 'pretty good', while at other times the orgasm can be very clear and intense. There are plenty of women who sometimes have very mild orgasms, which are almost unrecognizable.

This depends on how aroused you are and how you are stimulated. For example, a climax during penetration ('vaginal orgasm') can often feel deeper than when only the clitoris is stimulated ('clitoral orgasm'). Clitoral climax often feels a bit more intense and sharp.

Other types of orgasms

While scientists still debate the existence of different types of genital orgasms (think clitoral, A-spot, G-spot, etc.), they know there are other ways to come without touching anything below the belt:

• Nipple play : When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is produced, which causes the same uterine and vaginal contractions as an orgasm.

• While fantasizing : Some people can "think" themselves into an orgasm by imagining a stimulating situation and letting their thoughts wander.

• During Exercise : Also known as a “coregasm,” some people can have an orgasm while practicing yoga or doing core workouts.

• While sleeping : Because orgasms happen in our brains, which are super active at night, people of all genders can reach a climax while sleeping. There is no method for it, but it makes for a great night's sleep when it happens.

• A skin orgasm : Also called "frisson," skin orgasms are the tingling sensations you feel when you listen to a great song or watch an incredible scene. It can feel like goosebumps or a slight shiver down your arms.

How to Know if You've Had an Orgasm

An orgasm can be like a sensual trance and induce a state of sexual euphoria that can be felt both physically and psychologically. Heightened sexual arousal and fulfillment are felt and then followed by calmness.

Did you know that several bodily signals can warn you when you’re about to come? When you’re aroused, your heart rate increases, your breathing becomes faster, your nipples become erect, and your genitals become engorged with blood. These sensations intensify as arousal builds until you reach climax.

Orgasms can make you feel calm, but they can also make you sleepy. According to a 2019 study, participants who experienced an orgasm before bed reported better sleep. More research is needed to prove the connection, but they think we can thank oxytocin.

How can you have an orgasmic experience?

If you’re not reaching climax, you can learn to have one by becoming more familiar with your body and how it responds to sexual stimulation. Experts all agree that solo masturbation is a great place to start. By adjusting your touch and intensity, you can try out different masturbation techniques to see what feels good.

It also helps to focus on how you feel in that moment, rather than just thinking about achieving an orgasm. Deep breathing is a great technique to let go of distracting thoughts.

You can communicate more effectively with your partner about what feels good if you have discovered and known what you like and don’t like. If you want to climax through penetration, consider the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT), which allows you to simultaneously squeeze the shaft of the penis (or toy) between your thighs, pressing your clitoris against your pelvic bone and experiencing the snug fit of penetration.

Tips for an even better orgasm

If you’re looking to experiment or just want to spice things up a bit, don’t be afraid to introduce sex toys into the mix. Experiment with rabbit vibrators , like the Pure Lust Rabbit Vibrator or the Famous Butterfly vibrator . Both vibes are guaranteed to get all the juices flowing. They stimulate both your g-spot and your clitoris!

It's possible that combining clitoral and vaginal stimulation can increase the intensity of your orgasm.

If you're more into clitoral stimulation we recommend the Power Wand , and if you just want to stimulate your G-spot you should try the G-Spot Vibrator !

Finding a sex toy that suits you and your body can be its own exciting kind of foreplay, whether you're doing it solo or with a partner, so don't hesitate to incorporate them into the mix and go on a little shopping spree at Pure Lust .

Either way, it's vital to understand that not everyone can experience an orgasm (with or without a partner), and that's OK !!

Open communication with your partner and consulting a sexologist can help, but the fun of sex is in the discovery, which often involves so much more than an orgasm!

So, relax and enjoy... and let the orgasmic magic find you✨