Sexual violence is a serious problem that has a deep impact on individuals and society. Last year, the House of Representatives took an important step in the fight against this problem by adopting the new Sexual Offences Act. Voted by a large majority, this law marks a significant change in how sexual violence is approached in the Netherlands.

What is consent?

To start, let’s first talk about what “consent” means when it comes to sex. Consent means that someone clearly says “yes” to sexual activity. It is very important that both people agree and want to participate. Consent is about asking and getting clear answers.

Why is consent important?

It is very important to talk about consent. If someone has sex without the other person really saying yes, it can have very serious consequences. It can be very unpleasant for the person who did not say yes and it is also against the law. Consent is necessary to make sure that everyone feels safe and respected.

Consent central

The core of this new law is the concept of 'consent'. In the old situation, coercion often had to be proven to convict someone of sexual violence. Now that changes. If someone knew or should have suspected that the other person did not want sex and still continues, this is now punishable. This is a major change, because research shows that 70% of victims of sexual violence 'freeze' and cannot resist. The new law recognizes that all involuntary sex is unacceptable, regardless of whether there was physical coercion.

Why is this change important?

This change in the law is crucial in protecting victims of sexual violence. By focusing on consent, the law recognises that sex without clear consent is always unacceptable. This is an important step towards a safer society where the rights and well-being of every individual are respected.

Consequences of sex without consent

What happens if you break the law?

If someone has sex without the other person's clear consent, this can lead to criminal consequences. This means that the person can be punished by the judge. This can be a fine, community service or a prison sentence. The new law makes it easier to punish someone if he or she knows that the other person does not want sex, but continues anyway.

How does the victim feel?

For the person who has had to experience sex without consent, the consequences are often very severe. This can cause unpleasant feelings, such as fear, sadness or anger. It can also be difficult to trust people or to be intimate with others. This is not only something personal. It also affects families, friends and sometimes even the entire community. It is important to understand that sex without consent does much more than just physical harm and is absolutely unacceptable.

The importance of education about consent

Why education is important

It is super important that everyone learns about consent. It is especially important for young people to know what consent means. This is about learning that 'yes' really has to mean 'yes' and that 'no' always means 'no' in sexual situations. Through good education, young people understand better what is okay and what is not, and that they can always choose whether or not they want sex.

Working together to create a safe world

Not only young people, but everyone has the responsibility to learn more about consent. This means that we all need to know how important it is to ask for and receive clear consent. In schools, at home and in groups of friends, we need to talk about this. In this way, we can all help to ensure that everyone feels safe and respected. If everyone understands this, the world will be a lot safer and nicer for everyone.

Resources and Support

Help for people who have experienced this

If someone has experienced something bad with non-consensual sex, it is important that they can get help. There are places you can go to for support. These can be support groups, or you can go to a doctor or therapist who understands what you have been through. There are also telephone numbers and websites where you can talk anonymously or ask for advice. Such as the Center for Sexual Violence, call 0800-0188.

Learn more about this topic

Want to learn more about consent and how to treat each other well? There are many books, websites and courses where you can learn more. At school or at youth centres there are often lessons or discussion groups on this topic. It is good to inform yourself, so that you can help others and protect yourself.

We’ve talked about the crucial role of consent in sexual relationships and the impact of the new Sexual Offences Act. While we’ve highlighted the seriousness of non-consensual sex and the support available for survivors, it’s also important to recognise the joy and beauty of consenting sex.

Safe and consensual sexual experiences, where both partners feel respected and heard, can lead to deeper connections and enriching intimacy. Celebrating consent is not just about following the law; it is about fostering mutual respect, open communication, and caring for each other’s well-being. How nice is it to make the other feel good? And to have a beautiful experience together! So special and beautiful.

By focusing on education, awareness, and open conversations about consent, we are building a culture where sexual interactions are not only safe, but also fulfilling and joyful. Let’s embrace the value of consent, not just as a legal necessity, but as a path to healthier, happier, and more fulfilling sexual relationships.