Whether it's because your partner is stretching in the morning or because you're watching a movie and see Ryan Gosling doing whatever, there are countless reasons that can make you ask yourself, "Why am I so turned on?" But the truth is, the answer largely depends on your individual sexual interests and turn-ons.
For some, a man with a bun is enough to get them turned on, while others are more into those with buzz cuts or who are completely bald. Others don’t care about hair or no hair and are turned on by entirely different things. And while you might hear someone on a sexy Netflix show talking about their need for solo or partner sex multiple times a day, a few times a month might be perfectly suited to your level of arousal—and your schedule.
However you get aroused, it largely comes from a physiological or psychological response, or emotional arousal. The factors that influence arousal are a subjective variety of sexual stimuli that register and activate the arousal response in the brain. This is different for everyone.
If you're wondering what exactly could be contributing to why you're feeling so turned on, here are a few reasons that could be at play. Never Google "Why am I so horny?" again.
Here are some reasons why your sex drive may increase.
1. Your hormones are fluctuating in just the right way.We often hear that higher levels of androgens, such as testosterone, can cause a constant feeling of arousal. But in reality, it is a bit more complex and involves other hormones.
For example, during certain times of your menstrual cycle — like around ovulation, when estrogen and oxytocin (also known as the “love hormone”) are peaking — you may feel more aroused than usual. Hormonal fluctuations can also contribute to more intense states of physiological arousal, which can heighten the mental experience of being aroused.
It turns out that once your body gets moving, it wants to stay moving. For many people, the more sex they have, including masturbation, the more they want it. That’s why sex therapists often recommend masturbation for people with low desire.
So masturbation can help improve your arousal response and mind-body connection, leading to more consistent desire. This is especially true for women. When women masturbate more regularly, they become more aware of physiological changes that signal arousal, such as changes in blood flow, breathing, and genital swelling. And this increased self-awareness can fuel your horniness.
Whether you’re head over heels for your significant other, a hot new coworker, or someone you just swiped right on, being in love can heighten your sense of horniness. The combination of risk and obsession that comes with being in love can intensify desire by igniting all levels of arousal—emotional, physical, and mental. When you’re in love with someone, your dopamine levels, which are involved in reward and motivation, rise and your serotonin levels, which regulate your mood and cognition, fall. This altered state can lead to intense cravings.
We’re talking about the power of “new relationship energy” as something that can really ramp up your sex drive. The novelty of it is part of it — there’s no time for routine yet! — as is the bonding period that many new partners go through. Some of this can certainly be fueled by sex and desire, which can then contribute to a higher libido, especially if the sex is satisfying.
Sure, you’ve heard of foods that can boost your sex drive, like oysters, which are known aphrodisiacs. But there’s no specific food that will instantly turn you on. However, some foods increase blood flow and/or serotonin, which can boost your drive in general, like salmon and eggs. One study even found that eating apples daily was linked to higher arousal in women. Ultimately, better nutrition leads to better health, which can result in a higher libido.
No explanation needed.
Regardless of why you’re turned on, remember that it’s perfectly okay to be turned on. The fact is, your sex drive will likely peak and trough over time, depending on a variety of factors, from hormones to how often you work out to a really intense crush. But if you’re in a phase where you’re almost constantly fantasizing about your next hookup or looking forward to your next solo adventure with your vibrator, embrace it.
As long as your sex drive isn't causing you or others any distress and you can handle it in a way that's healthy for everyone involved — even if it's just you — it's perfectly normal.
No matter how turned on you are - or not - it's good to not compare yourself to others. We all bring different levels of desire, responsiveness, preferences, etc. to our sex lives (or lack thereof). There is no clear standard, and when people think there is, they probably have concerns and fears about whether they fit in.
