Because getting a little loud during sex can really make it a lot hotter.

When you think of moaning during sex, you might picture Meg Ryan's iconic fake orgasm in When Harry Met Sally . Maybe your mind immediately starts replaying your favorite scenes from Bridgerton (you know the one I'm talking about). Or maybe you think about the other night when you heard a certain high-pitched sound of bliss coming from your roommate's side of the wall and thought, "Wow. They're clearly having a good time."

Whether it’s intentional or not, moaning during sex can be a pretty powerful move. Even the slightest breathless groan or involuntary grunt can signal (to you, your partner(s), and any eavesdropping roommates) that things are going well between the sheets. As an added bonus, letting out those oohs and aahs can actually enhance the sexual experience.

Fully unleashing those sounds can be a little intimidating, though, especially if you’re thinking too much about how you “should” sound. Of course, you want to embrace your sex sounds and reap all the benefits of making some noise in bed, but not at the expense of sounding like you’re, well, you know.

Whether you're a naturally enthusiastic moaner who wants more advice on how to use sex sounds to maximize your sexual communication skills, or you're a more reserved lover who needs tips on how to let loose and turn up the volume, we've got all your moaning-related questions answered.

Why do people moan during sex?

Chances are you're moaning because you're enjoying yourself and feeling good. It's a natural, animalistic response at the most basic levels.

When we feel pleasure, we start to lose control of our body. The somatic nervous system takes a backseat and we have no control over the sounds that come out of it. It's like we're all cats in heat, screaming out our sexual desires.

On the other hand, you could moan in an attempt to fake it. There are times when people moan during sex to put on a show. Sometimes we exaggerate our sounds in an attempt to satisfy a partner's ego.

What exactly does moaning mean in sexual situations?

Moaning is both an erotic and useful form of sexual communication. Making sexual sounds can be a way to connect to the experience. For example, if someone moans while saying, “Mmm, I like that,” it draws their attention to their own experience of pleasure while also providing direction to their partner.

More often than not, moaning should serve as a green light. Moaning [usually] means that what your partner is doing feels good. So if something feels good, make some noise to let them know that they should keep doing it! Moaning is a good indication that something is working and silence is a good indication that it is not working so well.

Now, here's where it gets tricky: not everyone is super comfortable making noise, so communication is key. Always talk to your partner to make sure what you're doing feels good to them (whether they moan or not).

And don’t assume that you have to wait until sex actually starts to communicate. To best understand each other, we recommend that partners ask about sexual sounds ahead of time. You can ask something like, “How do I know if you’re enjoying sex? What sounds are you going to make?” Then your partner can let you know what to expect, perhaps by giving you a taste of their symphony of sex sounds or letting you know what kinds of words or sounds they usually use to convey pleasure.

How do I use moaning to enhance sex?

There are a number of ways that moaning can be used to enhance sex. You could use it as an indicator of what your partner likes/dislikes, making you a better lover almost instantly.

Try to develop the ability to detect when your partner is faking it (the moaning) and when they are making authentic sounds of pleasure. Not only will this help you please them, but it can also help your partner feel comfortable opening up and letting go.

Moaning is one of those primal reactions that happens when you let go of your inhibitions and just experience the moment. That in itself will make sex better for you, which in turn will probably turn your partner on even more.

Also, moaning is super sexy and shows that it is a positive experience. People want to feel like they are doing well in bed. It is very erotic to hear affirmation.

Does moaning help you have an orgasm?

Okay, so besides the fact that moaning is a natural response to pleasure for some people, it can also help you—and your partner—to climax. When you let your sounds flow freely, you can facilitate your body’s overall response. When you muffle your sounds, you often stifle your breath. And breathing helps with circulation, arousal, and orgasm.

Again, moaning isn't for everyone, but if you're actively suppressing your moans, it's a good idea to think about why that is: "Do you feel like you deserve pleasure? Have you trained yourself to tailor your sounds to your partner's expectations? Do you want to challenge those norms/expectations?"

If you realize you're holding back your moans, spend some time thinking about the reason(s) behind it.

How do I get comfortable moaning?

Getting comfortable with moaning is as easy as just deciding to do it. If you want to moan but it’s not your thing – just try consciously moaning when something feels good.

How do I know if my partner's moans are good or bad?

Pay attention to your partner’s body language as they moan, because different types of moans mean different things. Was the moan sharp and surprised? That could be pain or discomfort. Are the moans getting higher and closer together? They could be close to cumming.

Keep in mind that different people make different sounds. Something might sound like a bad moan, but that’s just that person’s way of expressing pleasure. If you’re ever confused about whether a moan is good or bad, ask yourself if what you’re doing feels good. You should never continue to do something that your partner isn’t enjoying. And this is your best bet when it comes to deciphering their sounds (or lack thereof).

Communication is everything and the more familiar you become with your partner and their moans, the better you will be able to please them.

How do I let my partner know the difference between my moans?

Again (yes, we are repeating ourselves so much because this is important), the key is communication. Don't just say "ouch" if something doesn't feel right. Tell your partner to do something different. For example, "Honey, can you move a little more this way?" or "Can you go a little slower? I like it slower." Don't be afraid to ask for what you want.

Plus, the first step might just be to pay attention to your own moans, and your partner’s. You might think you’re clearly radiating pleasure, but after listening, you might find that your moans aren’t quite so cut and dried. Next time you’re working on it, listen to what you’re doing to see if translating each other’s sounds becomes a little easier.

Does the volume of the moan really matter?

Moan as loud or as soft as you want. If someone is rude to you about how loud you are, don't have sex with them. There are plenty of people who appreciate it. There is no right or wrong way to moan or how you sound, mmkay?

And if you want to increase the volume of your moans without feeling like you’re auditioning for the local theater, we suggest matching your breath with sound. Essentially, let each breath accompany a little more sound until it feels natural to make more and more sound with a heightened sensation.

But again, you don't have to moan so loudly that your neighbors need noise-canceling headphones if that's not your thing.

What if I don't like moaning or don't feel comfortable moaning during sex?

It’s simple: don’t do it. Moaning isn’t a requirement for good sex, so if you’re not feeling it, skip it. However, if your partner is a moaner and you’re not a fan or it turns you off, it’s a little more complicated.

If this is the case, we suggest putting on some music or even considering some sensory play where you wear headphones or your partner uses a gag ball . Covering someone’s mouth can be a hot topic during sex, so if your moaning partner is willing to give it a try, this could be one of those sexy solutions that works for everyone.