Ask a (s)expert: How do I know if I'm actually good at sex?

Vraag het een (s)expert: hoe weet ik of ik eigenlijk goed ben in seks?

Hello sexy! Welcome to Pure Lust, your safe haven where we talk about sex with candor. Today it’s time to answer that nagging question that may have been bothering you in the dark of night: “Am I actually any good in bed?” Let’s get something out of the way first – sex isn’t a test you can pass or fail. It’s an intimate act of pleasure and connection. But if you’re looking to improve your skills or find out how to do it, you’ve come to the right place!

We'll start with a few points you need to know, and then move on to the tips, let's go!

First, you probably suffer from performance anxiety and are actually better than you think. We tend to judge ourselves harshly, especially in our performance in the bedroom. Remember that everyone has different preferences, and what works for one person might not work for another. The most important thing is that you are willing to learn, experiment, and communicate. Have you ever had a partner ask you to decipher their mysterious “O” map without any clues? Yep, it sounds as impossible as finding Atlantis!

Secondly , being a great lover isn’t just about technique. Your mind is a powerful aphrodisiac! Whether you’re dreaming up a sexy scenario or making your partner laugh, you’re creating a deeper connection that can transcend the physical action. Ever seen a movie where the couple is completely synchronized in the passion of the moment? Well, Hollywood is a dreamer, not a realist. The real fun is in laughing at the awkward moments, sharing shy glances, and building that irreplaceable bond.

Last point , don’t worry about the number of orgasms you have or cause. Orgasms are the icing on the cake, but they’re not the whole cake. We put too much emphasis on the end point and forget to appreciate the journey. Sex is about savoring every caress, every look, every whispered word.

Although, if you still want to be assured of an orgasm during your lovemaking, these toys can help you a lot…

So the next time you’re wondering if you’re any good in bed, stop worrying. Because sex isn’t a performance, there’s no checklist for great performance . But, just between you and me, I think we all have some kind of super sex god(dess) inside of us waiting to be released. Ready for some tips? Here we go!

  1. Foreplay - Outside the Bedroom > This is a bit tricky, because when we think of foreplay, we often think of it as just warming up for the act itself. But great sex starts long before you hit the sheets. Flirt, touch each other playfully, do new things together, and keep it fresh and fun. And spice it up with some sexy mood lighting, soft pillows, and exciting toys. This will make sex feel fun and safe.

  2. Verbal Communication - What Makes Your Partner Feel Safe? > Simply saying what you like and asking what your partner likes can make a world of difference. No ambiguity or misinterpretation, just clear communication and lots of pleasure.

    The essence of good sex is open communication. That may sound like a school lesson, but it’s the truth. Have you asked your partner what he or she likes? Have you made it clear what pleases you? A sincere conversation can do wonders for your sex life. You may find it hard to talk about, but remember – we’re talking about pizza toppings, so why can’t we do the same for our sexual preferences?

  3. Nonverbal Body Cues > Pay attention to your lover’s physical cues, too. Do they moan a little louder when you try that new thing? Or maybe you notice their body pushing against yours when you suck and play with your tongue. These are all cues to continue or switch to something you already know they like—see verbal communication above.

    For example, I once dated someone who loved it when I sucked their balls during oral sex. So naturally, when we broke up and I started messing around with someone new, I thought I was literally blowing their minds by playing with their balls. A few moments of radio silence and I got the point.

As long as you are willing to learn, communicate, be respectful, and have fun, you are on the right track. And remember - sex is about fun, not perfection!

Stay safe, stay sexy, and remember that at Pure Lust, you can always come for a candid conversation. In the world of Pure Lust, no question is too big, too small, too naughty, or too nervous. Whether you have questions, doubts, or exciting stories, we are here to listen and help. Because in the world of Pure Lust, sex is always an adventure worth exploring!

RELATED ARTICLES

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published