Normally we only talk about the actual act between the sheets. But today we’re going to talk about what can sometimes come before, or a way to have sex from a distance… Hot sexting is like foreplay… flirty hints of what’s to come.

According to research, sexting has a huge and unique benefit: sending naughty messages to your partner is a fun yet sexy way to connect on a deeper level. BUT it can also boost your confidence, strengthen your bond, and allow you to discover new ways to express yourself. That’s a win-win all around!

Whether you're new to dating or have been together for a long time, a little sexting here and there is a fun way to keep things exciting and fresh.

While sexting seems simple enough, it’s a pretty broad concept – so what exactly does the term encompass? Does sexting mean dick pics? A bunch of peach and eggplant emojis?

We're happy to confirm that 'sexting' encompasses pretty much all of the above and can be defined as sending sexual material via mobile phone, email or whatever you like.

This means that emojis, lingerie photos, and super descriptive paragraphs about what you'd like to do with your partner when they get home after a long day all fall under the category of sexting.

If you, like many others, have ever sent a sext that felt so embarrassing, you may have tossed the idea away with your old flip phone. But honestly, there’s no need to assume you need the linguistic prowess of Christian Grey to sext.

Instead, use language that you feel comfortable with to flirt and tease your partner. And if you're having a hard time, pull out those good old memory banks and tell them sexy memories or where you like to be touched and go from there.

Before we get into what you should send your partner, there are a few important things to remember before you hit send.

The 7 Sexy Rules of Sexting

Implement these tips (or rules) and you will definitely improve your sexting A-game.

Be creative and paint a picture

Of the whole process, the beginning is probably the most daunting part. So take your time and get inspiration from your surroundings, describe what you are wearing, doing or what you would like to do later.

And if where you are or what you're doing isn't very exciting, overdo it a little! So instead of reading a book in your pajamas, you could be "naked in bed." Your partner won't be any wiser, and after that you can easily move on to dirty talk .

Read or listen to something hot

Visual porn can be a bit intense for beginners, so try the written or audio stuff instead. Erotica is chock full of sexy content that you can take to bed with you.

Exposure to erotic (visual) material can often be helpful in broadening our sexual dialogue.

Be honest and share your deepest desires

Sexting can be a great way for you and your partner to learn more about each other's sexual preferences and potential kinks, as it may feel less scary to share from behind a screen.

Don't be afraid to ask. "What would you do if you could do anything you wanted to me?" for example. Likewise, don't hold back from expressing your own preferences so that your partner can learn more about you, even if they don't ask great questions.

Setting boundaries

In addition to checking with your partner to see if this is something they want to do, you also need to set boundaries. So maybe pictures are cool, but descriptive text about group sex is not.

And if the dialogue gets awkward at any point, a well-established safe word (like the one you use in the bedroom) can come in handy here too. You can even make a list of no-go terms.

Degradation and name calling can be a turn on, but this is not true for everyone, so discuss it first. Conversely, learn their lust language.

Does your partner love it when you refer to them as " baby girl "? Or do they prefer to be called a slut? Which term for their genitals makes them feel the sexiest?

These are things to think about before you start having sex with someone new (and it's never a bad idea to talk about this with your current partner). We all have preferences and our sexual experiences are all unique.

Express your enthusiasm and joy

Sexting can make people feel uncomfortable or vulnerable, especially if photos are involved, so make sure you provide plenty of positive reinforcement to make people feel good about what they're saying and sharing.

Since your partner can't read your body language or hear your voice, take it a step further by adding emojis, exclamation points, and hot adjectives and adverbs. (The heart and kiss emojis are great places to start, as are the heart eyes and drooling emojis to show how turned on you are by their words or photos!)

Keep your privacy

If you're sharing photos or videos, make sure your sexting partner is someone you can completely trust. (As tempting as it may be, remember that just because someone is hot or you have sex with them, doesn't mean you can trust them with your nudes !)

It’s perfectly fine not to want (or be tempted) to share intimate photos with someone you’re sleeping with or dating. Again, it comes back to boundaries and respect. On that note, you should also be aware of sexting laws in your state.

If you're looking to send nude photos, avoid sending explicit images of your face as a general rule. Take photos from your mouth down so your partner can see your beautiful lips without the risk of being identified.

It’s also worth noting that if you’re going to store explicit stuff on your phone, try to use a separate app so your nudes don’t get accidentally sent or seen. The apps Private Photo Vault or Secret Calculator are good options.

Practice makes perfect

As with most things in life, the more you do something, the better you get at it. Don’t worry if you feel awkward at first. You’ll get the hang of it. Trust (and positive reinforcement from your partner) are key.

Remember, your sexting buddy isn't expecting award-winning lines. Knowing who's behind the phone screen plays a huge role in arousing those lustful desires.

Let's Get Started With Sexting: Helpful Suggestions to Get You Started

Whether you’re a beginner sexter or a sexting superstar looking to surprise someone special with new skills, the following suggestions can help you nail your digital dirty talk ! If you’re looking for a little inspiration, feel free to duplicate any of the examples we’ve collected here. Trust us, they’ll definitely get the sext juices flowing.

When you want to ask for permission.

Hey! I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I wanted to share some NSFW thoughts with you. Sound like fun? (NSFW= not safe for work 🤭)

When you're feeling a little nostalgic

Remember that time you made me come over so often we had to dry my mattress in the sun? Mmm, yeah... I just can't get those thoughts out of my head!

When you want to test what the vibe is

I can't keep my hands off you the next time I see you.

If you feel like trying out your new sex toy

Hey babe, so I just got my new vibrator in. I can't wait for you to use it on me!

When you want to drive them a little crazy

You tell me your favorite fantasy, and I'll tell you mine 😉

When you're feeling kinky

I want you to blindfold me and kiss me everywhere... from one pair of lips to the other. x

When you feel creative

Tell me what you would do to me if… we were together… in a room with only… whipped cream, handcuffs, a candle,… and not a mattress in sight?

When all you want is foreplay

Let's go as far as we can, slowly. And give each other an orgasm at the end.

When you feel like stepping out of your comfort zone

Okay. So I guess it's my turn to tell you what to do!

When you're in the mood to tease

If only you could see what I'm wearing right now. It's silky and... excuse the typos - I'm typing with one hand.

When you're hot (as in sexy AF)

I'm sending you a photo that will leave a lot to the imagination.

When you feel complimented

What can I say? You are the sex god I need my whole life <3

When you feel like taking charge

I want you to lay back and let me take care of you tonight.

When you want to explore a fantasy

So I read a fascinating article today about threesomes ... and it got me thinking...

Do you want me to tell you more about it?

When you want to keep the conversation going

I'm not sure what you're doing, but if you haven't come yet, let's work on that together!

If you feel like sending pictures

Want to see more? Tell me the first thing you would do if you were here with me...

When you wake up from a really dirty dream

I dreamed about you last night and I'm getting wetter and wetter just thinking about it.

When you miss them

I miss you...and the feeling of you inside me.

Sext the way it feels right for you

If you’re not sure whether to dip your toe into uncharted waters, these sext samples should help get you started. If you’re still feeling unsure, change up the lingo so it feels more natural to you.

Finally, you might want to start adjusting the level of explicitness. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be X-rated to be enticing… sometimes being evasive is actually the biggest turn-on! Basically, what we’re saying is just do what works best and is most comfortable for you.